Thoughts.. that could mine or yours!

Married at 21, divorced at 26— No honeymoon, no couple’s dance, no romantic fix. Never held hands on a journey afar, Never wished on a shared shooting star. Seventeen years without love's grace, Eleven alone—just empty space. I’m 43 now, the world moves on, But my heart still aches where dreams are gone. Fake smiles, false hopes, love betrayed, Used, discarded, quietly decayed. Yet here I stand, still breathing pain— Longing for love, yet left in the rain. If you feel this too—know this is true: You are not unlovable. The world just failed you. _Pooja Agarwal_ _1st July 2025_

Married at 21, with dreams in my eyes, Divorced at 26, after truth wore its disguise. No honeymoon skies, no couple's first dance, No whispered vows, no timeless romance. Never a moment to feel truly seen, Never held like I mattered, never called someone's queen. No genuine proposal, no soul who stayed — Just masks and mirages, love that betrayed. I've lived alone for eleven long years, Seventeen without touch, through silence and tears. Now 43, with a heart still bare, Watching time fade into thinning air. This world — it teaches love, but plays pretend, Where people use, then discard, and call it the end. I gave my all, but was met with the fake, Each hope they stole, each promise they break. I'm tired... but more than just tired — I grieve, For the life I deserved but was made to leave. Is there a place where true hearts belong? Where “forever” isn’t just another con? I’m not asking for pity, just truth in a touch, A moment, a bond, that isn’t too much. If life ends ...

Such girls, THEY said..  THEY who?  the people throwing stones at her the people calling her names the people evaluating her worth THEY are the people who killed her inside out, destroyed her and thrown her under the bus.. THEY Are the people who destroyed a pure soul and now call her "such girls". THEY are, the so called part of this society. -Pooja Agarwal Jan. 31st, 2025

Mere hisse ka sindoor, Naam, pyar, sath, aur pariwar...  Sab kuch ussko dene ke baad bhi, usse ussko apna waqt naa dene ka gum bahut satata hein.. Mujhse jab kabhi chhup chhup ke woh milne aata hein, to usse, usska dil na dukhe bass yahi khayal satata hein.. Sach mein, kaun hu mein usski ab, ye sawaal mujhe din raat jalaata hein.. Fir bhi kehta hein, pyar hein mujhse, jab ki usse ghar jaake usse manaane ka khayal hi aata hein.. Mera dukh, mera dard, mera akelapan, ussko samajh nahi aata hein... Bar bar bass yahi kehke "Mein khush, tum bhi khush rehne ki koshish to karo", mujhe samjhata hein. Kaese samjhaau usse, ki jo toota hein mujh Mein, woh mera dil hi nahi, ghar hein... jo ab kabhi nahi jud paayega. -Pooja Oct. 5, 2024

I am in progress... With time I have accepted and understood the reality that some people don't come to me because they care for me or like me, they only come to me because they see me as someone who is... "Vulnerable" | "a flesh" |  "a divorced woman" | "living alone" | "have no one" But I CANNOT be defined in these categories... I am MUCH MORE than this, A LOT more, than one can IMAGINE.  I am a strong person who definitely get hurts but rise and shine again.  I may cry every night but I will wake up next morning with a smile and hope.  I may be broken and alone inside, but I have the courage to make others smile. I still believe in love, no matter I have been judged for being caring, sweet, innocent and loving. I know, I have been hurt, betrayed and disowned a million times by people who were once part of me. But I won't give up, because I am a Phoenix !

उसने कहा बुद्धू हू में .. मैने कहा बुद्धू ही सही  समझदारों को मैने अक्सर लड़खड़ाते देखा हें  बड़ी जालिम हे ये दुनिया  पागलों को पत्थर और समझदारों को ताने मारते देखा हें  इक इश्क ही हें जो दोनों का फर्क़ मिटा देता  हें  एसा मैने दीवानों को कह्ते देखा हें

We met in January over an online dating app. Yes, an online dating app that is quite trending these days. Well, I was always very apprehensive about using such apps because I believed people are using it only for hook-ups, but then some of my wise colleagues and friends advised me to give it a try and well, I did, and I did well! He in his early 40s was so charming; well-maintained beard, leather jacket, fancy bike, and those boots with the background of Leh Ladakh just blew my mind. I always admired rough and dusky guys, and well he is 6 feet tall too. I couldn’t stop myself from swiping him right. Well I guess, he was waiting right there as he immediately responded, as a result, we both matched, and started to interact and later exchanged numbers. We mostly fought over calls because of his obvious behavior of pulling my leg and teasing me for stupid things constantly. I am not good at talking sweet stuff with guys and taking their shit; well, of course, I am 38 and I have...

Yes I'm ‘differently different’… I try and try, but never give up It's not that I'm ignorant, but it's okay to ignore at times I trust, when I decide not to I break often and stand strong for another storm It's okay… It's okay to stay hopeful instead of hopeless It takes courage to be sensitive than being insensitive I know people dupe, plot games and win I know they think of others as a sin I know… I know, the memories I can’t undo and I know the memories I would love to redo I don’t run away from pain and failure I am indestructible yet endurable But it's okay… It’s okay to Love yourself, like none else It’s worthy to be ‘differently different’ While I strive for elation I always smile coz, I'm alive, and I've got a life !!!    Pooja Agarwal October, 2018

Look... Hey just look, what you did to me... Sleepless nights Wet eyes... Fearing dreams My heart screams... Tearing thoughts Thinking what if not... Fake smiles I run for miles... I beg to die I'm fine I lie... and then... When I wake up, I wear makeup Just to show up, how to fight... I just can't... Just can't Thank you enough... my LIFE !!! -Pooja Agarwal

We all in a way, experience the sense of freedom in our day-to-day life, but do not address it to ourselves. What we need is to recognize and address that sense of freedom to make it the essence of our lives and tell ourselves that besides all the odds we are still alive; alive to shine brighter and brighter. Small things that we do every day, if we take a deep breath and feel, we can learn how we can free our mind, body and soul, while…..  sipping a cup coffee on a rainy day or gazing at the sky riding a two-wheeler while its breezing and your soul is no more dry solo travels, like backpackers, being yourself, bidding your worries bye bye listening to music, solo movies, street shopping, coloring your greys with a dye meeting friends and family on weekends, still smiling when the Monday is nigh hard times, learning with failures, though you know you will have to try big smile with a little tear coz you know you don’t have to cry remembering all odds, revampi...

Sometimes u just want to delete the unwanted people n memories from ur life...  U start  deleting chat history but that doesn't help...  U delete pictures...  And that doesn't help... You also revisit ur contact list n delete people u dont wanna b in touch anymore and of course that doesn't help either...  That constant feeling of just getting rid of ur past or something which gives u pain is the most horrible feeling....  We can't accept the fact that there are really many things which you can't undo... You don't want it you just can't handle it anymore.... That frustration... that pain keeps u low all the time n u start doubting all the people around u... N that's the point where you just want to be alone...  Full of sorrows n anger... The only way left for us is to face it and accept it and live with it..... You can't undo what has happened already and you really can't change people n their thinking about u...  All u can do is to  do ...

Mein woh guzraa waqt ban jaungi Jo kabhi wapas nahi aata... Mein wo kal ka aehsaas ban jaungi Jo yaad bahut aata... Mein wo samundar banjaungi Jiska ant nahi mil paata... Mein woh khayaal banjaungi Jo aaj tumhe nahi aata... Mein aaj nahi to kal, chali hi jaungi Mujhe koi rok nahi paata Mein woh guzraa "waqt" hu... Jisse sab yuhi gawa dete hein Par kisi ko samajh nahi aata... - Pooja

I may be fake, bad, fat, ugly, mad, spoiled, lonely, stupid, arrogant and a weirdo but you my mom, u never judged me.. U know my darkest as well as d brightest side... U know what I'm today and why I'm like this today. I've made mistakes and I still do... I know I'm weirdo and i apologize too  but u know m hurt deep inside when I'm not even sorry, coz u understand that silence n that guilt. U have not just but been with me at my best but in my worst too.. U have even felt the deepest silence of my life and i can't thank u enough for that. I know I've made several frnds in life; some r still there n some have left n some r going to leave me soon but I'm sure you'll still b with me not only coz I'm your daughter but because you know my journey and you've walked it with me. I've always looked for being loved but never found someone, may be coz I don't deserve or may be its not in my destiny but you Mumma, you managed to tolera...

Dear Girl, I know you are in peace now. You are resting in god's lap and seeing everyone here fighting for JUSTICE... But trust me now you are safe ! We did candle march, we blamed system/ government, we shouted for a death penalty, we did all this every time we heard of a rape. Now since a month has passed we are back to our normal life, we still see news channels covering similar news everyday and we then sip a cup of tea and curse the system, security, people with filthy mindset and what not. We watch politician and some media channels cooking up stories on your rape, some make it a big political issue and some points on your dressing sense and we as public blame law and order. At the end justice too get raped.... We ask ourselves; what more can be done??? What is next? who is next? and what should be done to stop rapes? these questions keeps hovering in our brain every time we hear a news on rape. Yes, we go partying later in the day, we go to our offices an...

Mere dil ko meine dia ye aakhiri mauka tha Bahut meine khud ko t oka aur dil ko roka tha Tumne jo dia wo zindagi ka...  Aakhiri dhokha tha ________________________ Tu naa sahi teri tasveer se kaam chala lete hein Dil jale hein, teri yaadon se dil jala lete hein...